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(→2. Importance of marriage sanskar – A spiritual perspective: Kama means pleasure. Sensual pleasures like sex are one kind of pleasures.) |
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'''Hindu marriage''' harmonizes two individuals (mostly male and female) for ultimate eternity, so that they can pursue [[dharma]] (responsibility/duties), arth ( | '''Hindu marriage''' harmonizes two individuals (mostly male and female) for ultimate eternity, so that they can pursue [[dharma]] (responsibility/duties), arth(money), and kama(conjugal love). It is a union of two individuals as spouses, and is recognized by liveable continuity. In Hinduism, marriage is not followed by traditional rituals for [[consummation]]. In fact, marriage is considered complete or valid even without consummation because the marriage is between two souls and it is beyond the body. It also joins two families together. | ||
Favorable colours are normally red and gold for this occasion. | Favorable colours are normally red and gold for this occasion. | ||
== Importance of | == Importance of marriage == | ||
=== 1. Meaning of vivah (Marriage) === | === 1. Meaning of vivah (Marriage) === | ||
Taking the bride from her father’s home to one’s own home is termed as ‘''[[vivaha]]''’ or ‘''udvah''’. Vivaha means Panigrahan, meaning the groom holding the hand of the bride to make her his wife. Since the man holds the hand of the woman, after marriage the woman should go and stay with the man.<ref>{{Cite web|title=What does Hinduism say about family life? - Hindu relationships - GCSE Religious Studies Revision - WJEC|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zh732sg/revision/3|access-date=2021-05-18|website=BBC Bitesize|language=en-GB}}</ref> | Taking the bride from her father’s home to one’s own home is termed as ‘''[[vivaha]]''’ or ‘''udvah''’. Vivaha means Panigrahan, meaning the groom holding the hand of the bride to make her his wife. Since the man holds the hand of the woman, after marriage the woman should go and stay with the man.<ref>{{Cite web|title=What does Hinduism say about family life? - Hindu relationships - GCSE Religious Studies Revision - WJEC|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zh732sg/revision/3|access-date=2021-05-18|website=BBC Bitesize|language=en-GB}}</ref> | ||
=== 2. Importance of marriage sanskar – A spiritual perspective === | === 2. Importance of marriage sanskar – A spiritual perspective === | ||
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C. In Hindu Society a married woman is viewed with utmost respect. | C. In Hindu Society a married woman is viewed with utmost respect. | ||
=== 3. Age for marriage === | === 3. Age for marriage === | ||
In the earlier times, at the age of eight after the [[Upanayana|upanayan sanskar]], a boy would remain in his [[Guru]]’s hermitage for at least twelve years. Thereafter, before entering the stage of [[Grihastha|gruhasthashram]] (Householder), for four to five years he would make efforts to develop the ability to earn a livelihood. Giving due consideration to all this, the age group of twenty-five to thirty years was considered as ideal for a boy’s marriage. Once the girl crossed her childhood stage, for the next five to six years she was taught how to shoulder worldly responsibilities. Hence, the age group of twenty to twenty-five years was considered ideal for marriage for a girl.<ref>{{Cite news|last=Chandra|first=Jagriti|date=2020-09-04|title=Should the age of marriage for women be raised to 21?|language=en-IN|work=The Hindu|url=https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/should-the-age-of-marriage-for-women-be-raised-to-21/article32517084.ece|access-date=2021-05-18|issn=0971-751X}}</ref> From the spiritual perspective in the current period too, the above mentioned age groups are ideal for marriage of boys and girls. | In the earlier times,{{When?|date=June 2022}} at the age of eight after the [[Upanayana|upanayan sanskar]], a boy would remain in his [[Guru]]’s hermitage for at least twelve years. Thereafter, before entering the stage of [[Grihastha|gruhasthashram]] (Householder), for four to five years he would make efforts to develop the ability to earn a livelihood. Giving due consideration to all this, the age group of twenty-five to thirty years was considered as ideal for a boy’s marriage. Once the girl crossed her childhood stage, for the next five to six years she was taught how to shoulder worldly responsibilities. Hence, the age group of twenty to twenty-five years was considered ideal for marriage for a girl.<ref>{{Cite news|last=Chandra|first=Jagriti|date=2020-09-04|title=Should the age of marriage for women be raised to 21?|language=en-IN|work=The Hindu|url=https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/should-the-age-of-marriage-for-women-be-raised-to-21/article32517084.ece|access-date=2021-05-18|issn=0971-751X}}</ref>{{Failed verification|date=June 2022}} From the spiritual perspective in the current period too, the above mentioned age groups are ideal for marriage of boys and girls. | ||
=== 4. Matching of horoscopes while arranging a marriage === | === 4. Matching of horoscopes while arranging a marriage === | ||
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The use of ''jathakam'' or ''[[natal chart|Janam Kundali]]'' (astrological chart at the time of birth) of the son/daughter to match with the help of a priest is common, but not universal. Parents also take advice from the brahman called 'Jothidar' in [[Tamil language|Tamil]] or 'panthulu or siddanthi ' in [[Telugu language|Telugu]] and Kundali Milaan in northern India, who has details of many people looking to get married. Some communities, like the Brahmans in Mithila, use genealogical records ("Panjikas") maintained by the specialists. | The use of ''jathakam'' or ''[[natal chart|Janam Kundali]]'' (astrological chart at the time of birth) of the son/daughter to match with the help of a priest is common, but not universal. Parents also take advice from the brahman called 'Jothidar' in [[Tamil language|Tamil]] or 'panthulu or siddanthi ' in [[Telugu language|Telugu]] and Kundali Milaan in northern India, who has details of many people looking to get married. Some communities, like the Brahmans in Mithila, use genealogical records ("Panjikas") maintained by the specialists. | ||
'' | ''Jathakam'' or ''Kundali'' is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of birth. The maximum points for any match can be 36 and the minimum points for matching is 18.<ref name="Kundali Matching">{{cite web |last1=Kapoor |first1=Abhinav |title=36 points need to be acquired for an auspicious Gunn Milan method and happy marriage |url=https://trustedteller.com/kundali-matching |website=TrustedTeller |access-date=5 May 2017 |ref=Hindu Marriage}}</ref> Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonious relationship but still it depends liberally on people they can still marry. If the astrological chart of the two individuals (male and female) achieve the required threshold in points then further talks are considered for prospective marriage. Also the man and woman are given a chance to talk and understand each other. Once there is an agreement then an auspicious time is chosen for the wedding to take place. | ||
In recent years, with the onset of dating culture in India, arranged marriages & horoscope analysis have seen a marginal decrease, with prospective brides and grooms preferring to choose a spouse on their own and not necessarily only the one whom their parents find agreeable; this has been more pronounced in urban and suburban areas than rural regions. Today the culture of marriage among Hindus is such new concept of Love-Arrange Marriage or Arrange-Love Marriage. | In recent years, with the onset of dating culture in India, arranged marriages & horoscope analysis have seen a marginal decrease, with prospective brides and grooms preferring to choose a spouse on their own and not necessarily only the one whom their parents find agreeable; this has been more pronounced in urban and suburban areas than rural regions. Today the culture of marriage among Hindus is such new concept of Love-Arrange Marriage or Arrange-Love Marriage. | ||
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# [[Asura marriage]] - Asura marriage is when the bridegroom receives a maiden, after having given of his own free will as much wealth as he can afford, to the bride and her kinsmen. It is Asura marriage that sets itself apart from the other types of marriage. This is a matrimony where the groom may not often be compatible with the bride and may even possess some abnormality but either greed or compulsion on the part of the bride's father coupled with the groom's desire and wealth may render it. At all times this type of marriage was considered lowly. In modern times this is unacceptable because it is much like buying a product off the shelf and against common Indian law. | # [[Asura marriage]] - Asura marriage is when the bridegroom receives a maiden, after having given of his own free will as much wealth as he can afford, to the bride and her kinsmen. It is Asura marriage that sets itself apart from the other types of marriage. This is a matrimony where the groom may not often be compatible with the bride and may even possess some abnormality but either greed or compulsion on the part of the bride's father coupled with the groom's desire and wealth may render it. At all times this type of marriage was considered lowly. In modern times this is unacceptable because it is much like buying a product off the shelf and against common Indian law. | ||
# [[Rakshasa marriage]] - Rakshasa marriage is the marriage of a maiden involving her forcible abduction from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded. The groom will force battles with the bride's family, overcome them and carry the bride away to convince her to marry him. Because of its use of force this marriage is essentially rape in modern parlance, and it was never considered right - hence the pejorative name [[rakshasa]] attached to it. This is condemned in the [[Manusmriti]] as a sinful act. In modern times it is a crime. [[Arjuna]]'s marriage to [[Subhadra]] was made to look like this but in reality it was a Gandharva Marriage because both of them were in love and they had the consent of Subhadra's brother [[Sri Krishna]] who actually suggested this subterfuge to preempt [[Balarama]] from dissent. | # [[Rakshasa marriage]] - Rakshasa marriage is the marriage of a maiden involving her forcible abduction from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded. The groom will force battles with the bride's family, overcome them and carry the bride away to convince her to marry him. Because of its use of force this marriage is essentially rape in modern parlance, and it was never considered right - hence the pejorative name [[rakshasa]] attached to it. This is condemned in the [[Manusmriti]] as a sinful act. In modern times it is a crime. [[Arjuna]]'s marriage to [[Subhadra]] was made to look like this but in reality it was a Gandharva Marriage because both of them were in love and they had the consent of Subhadra's brother [[Sri Krishna]] who actually suggested this subterfuge to preempt [[Balarama]] from dissent. | ||
# [[Paishacha marriage]] - When a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping, intoxicated, or mentally challenged, it is called Paishacha marriage. This is condemned in the [[Manusmriti]] as a sinful act. In modern times this is called [[Date rape|Date Rape]] and is a crime in most | # [[Paishacha marriage]] - When a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping, intoxicated, or mentally challenged, it is called Paishacha marriage. This is condemned in the [[Manusmriti]] as a sinful act. In modern times this is called [[Date rape|Date Rape]] and is a crime in most countries.<ref>{{cite book|title=Manusmriti 3.27-34}}</ref> | ||
==The wedding== | ==The wedding== | ||
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Elopement has also been described in old Hindu literature. Lord Krishna himself eloped with [[Rukmini]] on a horse chariot. It is written that Rukmini's father was going to marry her to Shishupal, against her wishes. Rukimini sent a letter to Krishna informing of a place and time to pick her up. | Elopement has also been described in old Hindu literature. Lord Krishna himself eloped with [[Rukmini]] on a horse chariot. It is written that Rukmini's father was going to marry her to Shishupal, against her wishes. Rukimini sent a letter to Krishna informing of a place and time to pick her up. | ||
===Symbols of Hindu | ===Symbols of Hindu married woman=== | ||
The married Hindu women in different parts of India follow different customs. Mostly [[sindoor]], [[mangalsutra]] and [[bangle]]s are considered as signs of a married woman. | The married Hindu women in different parts of India follow different customs. Mostly [[sindoor]], [[mangalsutra]] and [[bangle]]s are considered as signs of a married woman. | ||
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The reach of these symbols is expanding as they have been adopted by other cultures and religions as well. Some Muslim women have started wearing mangalsutras under their [[Burqa|burqas]], a one-piece Islamic veil.<ref>Akram, Maria. “Beneath Burqa, a Mangalsutra and Chooda.” ''The Times of India,'' global-factiva-com.ezproxy.bu.edu/ha/default.aspx#./!?&_suid=160157326370209083106209683041.</ref> | The reach of these symbols is expanding as they have been adopted by other cultures and religions as well. Some Muslim women have started wearing mangalsutras under their [[Burqa|burqas]], a one-piece Islamic veil.<ref>Akram, Maria. “Beneath Burqa, a Mangalsutra and Chooda.” ''The Times of India,'' global-factiva-com.ezproxy.bu.edu/ha/default.aspx#./!?&_suid=160157326370209083106209683041.</ref> | ||
==Purification for a non-Hindu before a Hindu marriage== | |||
{{anchor|Conversion of non-Hindu before Hindu marriage}}In India when a Hindu and a non-Hindu marry under the [[Hindu Marriage Act]] and for the [[Hindu marriage]] to be valid, both partners must be Hindu amongst other conditions that need to be fulfilled, and the non-Hindu partner must convert to Hinduism. A specific kind of ancient ritual is performed before the Hindu marriage, called [[Shuddhikaran]]. The non-Hindu partner is then converted through this ‘purification’ rite before marrying or else the marriage is void or not legally binding.<ref>{{Cite web|title= Legal Precautions to take before marrying in a temple - Legal Requirements under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955|url= https://blog.ipleaders.in/temple-marriage/?amp=1|website=iPleaders|language=en-IN}}</ref> The Hindu marriage ceremony that follows will include the vows and the saptapadi, the ritual of circling the sacred fire seven time, the completion of the seventh round binds the marriage.<ref>{{Cite web|title=Hindu Marriage Law FAQ - What is a proper or valid Hindu marriage? - Should marriages be registered? How is it done? - If a Hindu wishes to marry a person who is not a Hindu, under what law can they do so?|url= https://www.latestlaws.com/legal-faqs/hindu-marriage-laws-faqs|website=Latest Laws|language=en-IN}}</ref> This is accepted as a complete, valid marriage in all states of India and needs no registration with the exception of Goa that is governed by a single code called [[Goa Civil Code]] where registration of marriage is made compulsory as it is accepted as the only proof of marriage. | |||
== History == | == History == | ||
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==Modernity== | ==Modernity== | ||
Many people believe that arranged marriage is the traditional form of marriage in India; however love marriage is a modern form, usually in urban areas. Love marriage differs from arranged marriage in that the couple, rather than the parents, choose their own partner. There are various instances from ancient scriptures of Hinduism, of romantic love marriages that were accepted in ancient times, for example [[Dushyanta]] and [[Shakuntala]] in the story of the [[Mahabharata]]. Somewhere in the course of time, arranged marriages became predominant and love marriages became unacceptable or at least frowned upon, some historians believe that it happened in the | Many people believe that arranged marriage is the traditional form of marriage in India; however love marriage is a modern form, usually in urban areas. Love marriage differs from arranged marriage in that the couple, rather than the parents, choose their own partner. There are various instances from ancient scriptures of Hinduism, of romantic love marriages that were accepted in ancient times, for example [[Dushyanta]] and [[Shakuntala]] in the story of the [[Mahabharata]]. Somewhere in the course of time, arranged marriages became predominant and love marriages became unacceptable or at least frowned upon, some historians believe that it happened in the Islamic invasion period. Despite some love marriages, the vast majority of Hindus continue to have arranged marriages, though the prospective couples usually have more agency in the match than they did historically. | ||
==Same sex marriage== | ==Same sex marriage== | ||
{{Unreferenced section|date=July 2021}} | {{Unreferenced section|date=July 2021}} | ||
There are | There are 8 types of Hindu marriages, and all of them are defined as between a man and a woman. Further, Shri Krishna preached that the ultimate goal of marriage is to procreate together to raise God-conscious children. Since homosexual couples cannot procreate together, gay marriage is technically not valid in Hinduism, regardless of opinion. There are both conservative and liberal views about homosexuality and same-sex marriages in [[Hinduism]] with Hindu priests having performed marriage of same-sex couples. In 2004, [[Hinduism Today]] asked Hindu swamis (teachers) their opinion of same-sex marriage. The swamis expressed a range of opinions, positive and negative.{{Citation needed|date=June 2021}} | ||
==See also== | ==See also== | ||
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*[[Buddhist view of marriage]] | *[[Buddhist view of marriage]] | ||
*[[Marriages in India]] | *[[Marriages in India]] | ||
*[[Shuddhikaran]] | |||
*[[Shuddhi (Hinduism)]] | |||
*[[Interfaith marriage]] | *[[Interfaith marriage]] | ||
*[[Jewish views on marriage]] | *[[Jewish views on marriage]] |