31.187.90.202: robot: Update article (please report if you notice any mistake or error in this edit)

2022-06-26T17:04:48Z

robot: Update article (please report if you notice any mistake or error in this edit)

Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent - Revision history

John9200Carter: added references

31.187.90.202: robot: Update article (please report if you notice any mistake or error in this edit)

UpdateBot: robot: Update article

>ClueBot NG: Reverting possible vandalism by 60.243.70.67 to version by Tamzin. Report False Positive? Thanks, ClueBot NG. (3970049) (Bot)

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:34, 26 June 2022
Line 20:		Line 20:
	With the expanding social reform and female emancipation that accompanied economic and literacy growth after independence, many commentators predicted the gradual demise of arranged marriages in India, and the inexorable rise of so-called "[[love marriage]]s" (i.e. where the initial contact with potential spouses does not involve the parents or family members).<ref name="hoiberg2000"/> That has not yet come to pass and the institution proved to be "''remarkably resilient''" in the Indian social context, though it has undergone radical change.<ref name="ref53yeyob">{{Citation \| title=Voices in my blood \| author=Gita Aravamudan \| year=1990 \| publisher=Sterling Publishers, 1990 \| isbn=9789991156927 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=jf5kAAAAMAAJ \| quote=''... The arranged marriage is an institution which, in our society, has proved to be remarkably resilient. It has survived the potentially disruptive impact of various very powerful forces ...''}}</ref>		With the expanding social reform and female emancipation that accompanied economic and literacy growth after independence, many commentators predicted the gradual demise of arranged marriages in India, and the inexorable rise of so-called "[[love marriage]]s" (i.e. where the initial contact with potential spouses does not involve the parents or family members).<ref name="hoiberg2000"/> That has not yet come to pass and the institution proved to be "''remarkably resilient''" in the Indian social context, though it has undergone radical change.<ref name="ref53yeyob">{{Citation \| title=Voices in my blood \| author=Gita Aravamudan \| year=1990 \| publisher=Sterling Publishers, 1990 \| isbn=9789991156927 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=jf5kAAAAMAAJ \| quote=''... The arranged marriage is an institution which, in our society, has proved to be remarkably resilient. It has survived the potentially disruptive impact of various very powerful forces ...''}}</ref>

	Commonly in urban areas and increasingly in rural parts, parents now arrange for marriage-ready sons and daughters to meet with multiple potential spouses with an accepted right of refusal.<ref name="ref49fimaq">{{Citation \| title=Freedom and destiny: gender, family, and popular culture in India \| author=Patricia Uberoi \| year=2006 \| publisher=Oxford University Press, 2006 \| isbn=978-0-19-567991-5 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=Tzy3AAAAIAAJ \| quote=''... Though arranged marriage remains the rule, parents have also shown increasing willingness to adjust to their children's romantic aspirations. Both boys and girls (boys more than girls) may be allowed a right of refusal of the partners ... with the legal age of marriage now 1 8 for girls and 2 1 for boys and the actual age of marriage rising steadily as well, a phase now exists between sexual maturity and marriage ...''}}</ref> These arranged marriages are effectively the result of a wide search by both the girl's family and the boy's family.<ref>The wisdom of arranged marriages, Rabbi Levi Brackman, {http://www.ynet.co.il/english/Ext/Comp/ArticleLayout/CdaArticlePrintPreview/1,2506,L-3275463,00.html</ref> [[Child marriage]]s are also in steady decline and deemed unlawful in India (with legal age of marriage at 21 years for men and 18 years for women), so the term "arranged marriage" now increasingly refers to marriages between consenting adults well past the age of sexual maturity.<ref name="ref49fimaq"/> Due to this, a strong distinction is now drawn by sociologists and policymakers between arranged marriages (which involve consenting adults that have choice and unhindered rights of refusal) and [[forced marriage]]s.<ref name="ref86doguv">{{Citation \| title=A life like any other? : Seventh report of session ~~2007-08~~ House of Lords papers \| author=Great Britain: Parliament: Joint Committee on Human Rights \| date=6 March 2008 \| publisher=The Stationery Office, 2008 \| isbn=978-0-10-401240-6 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=tsf585_mjB0C \| quote=''... It is important to make a distinction between forced marriages and arranged marriages ... given a choice and freely consenting to the marriage ...''}}</ref>		Commonly in urban areas and increasingly in rural parts, parents now arrange for marriage-ready sons and daughters to meet with multiple potential spouses with an accepted right of refusal.<ref name="ref49fimaq">{{Citation \| title=Freedom and destiny: gender, family, and popular culture in India \| author=Patricia Uberoi \| year=2006 \| publisher=Oxford University Press, 2006 \| isbn=978-0-19-567991-5 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=Tzy3AAAAIAAJ \| quote=''... Though arranged marriage remains the rule, parents have also shown increasing willingness to adjust to their children's romantic aspirations. Both boys and girls (boys more than girls) may be allowed a right of refusal of the partners ... with the legal age of marriage now 1 8 for girls and 2 1 for boys and the actual age of marriage rising steadily as well, a phase now exists between sexual maturity and marriage ...''}}</ref> These arranged marriages are effectively the result of a wide search by both the girl's family and the boy's family.<ref>The wisdom of arranged marriages, Rabbi Levi Brackman, {http://www.ynet.co.il/english/Ext/Comp/ArticleLayout/CdaArticlePrintPreview/1,2506,L-3275463,00.html</ref> [[Child marriage]]s are also in steady decline and deemed unlawful in India (with legal age of marriage at 21 years for men and 18 years for women), so the term "arranged marriage" now increasingly refers to marriages between consenting adults well past the age of sexual maturity.<ref name="ref49fimaq"/> Due to this, a strong distinction is now drawn by sociologists and policymakers between arranged marriages (which involve consenting adults that have choice and unhindered rights of refusal) and [[forced marriage]]s.<ref name="ref86doguv">{{Citation \| title=A life like any other? : Seventh report of session 2007–08 House of Lords papers \| author=Great Britain: Parliament: Joint Committee on Human Rights \| date=6 March 2008 \| publisher=The Stationery Office, 2008 \| isbn=978-0-10-401240-6 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=tsf585_mjB0C \| quote=''... It is important to make a distinction between forced marriages and arranged marriages ... given a choice and freely consenting to the marriage ...''}}</ref>

	Another significant trend in arranged marriages is related to the loosening of traditional clan-bonds in India. Where potential spouses for sons and daughters were once identified through family and social relationships, they are increasingly being solicited through advertising because many urban parents no longer have the social reach that was a given before the rise of [[nuclear family\|nuclear families]] in India.<ref name="ref78fudiy">{{Citation \| title=Indian Renaissance: India's Rise After a Thousand Years of Decline \| author=Sanjeev Sanyal \| year=2008 \| publisher=World Scientific, 2008 \| isbn=978-981-281-877-5 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=i0ZYFny5cuoC \| quote=''... Take, for example, the arranged marriage system. Once it relied on word-of- mouth. Today it is using matchmaking websites like shaadi.com (which claims to be the world's largest matrimonial service) ...''}}</ref> With the advent of the [[internet]], this has led to the rise of matchmaking websites such as ''shaadi.com'' (''shaadi'' is the [[Hindustani language\|Hindustani]] word for wedding), which claims to be the largest matrimonial service in the world.<ref name="ref78fudiy"/>		Another significant trend in arranged marriages is related to the loosening of traditional clan-bonds in India. Where potential spouses for sons and daughters were once identified through family and social relationships, they are increasingly being solicited through advertising because many urban parents no longer have the social reach that was a given before the rise of [[nuclear family\|nuclear families]] in India.<ref name="ref78fudiy">{{Citation \| title=Indian Renaissance: India's Rise After a Thousand Years of Decline \| author=Sanjeev Sanyal \| year=2008 \| publisher=World Scientific, 2008 \| isbn=978-981-281-877-5 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=i0ZYFny5cuoC \| quote=''... Take, for example, the arranged marriage system. Once it relied on word-of- mouth. Today it is using matchmaking websites like shaadi.com (which claims to be the world's largest matrimonial service) ...''}}</ref> With the advent of the [[internet]], this has led to the rise of matchmaking websites such as ''shaadi.com'' (''shaadi'' is the [[Hindustani language\|Hindustani]] word for wedding), which claims to be the largest matrimonial service in the world.<ref name="ref78fudiy"/>
Line 28:		Line 28:

	==The arranged marriage process==		==The arranged marriage process==
	Arranged marriages vary widely by region and community across the Indian subcontinent. The marriage process usually ~~begin~~ with a realization in the family that a child is old enough to marry. For a girl, it is during her graduation or early twenties; for a boy, it is after he is 'settled', with a decent job and consistent earnings. The initiation can occur when a parent or a relative (such as an aunt or an elder sister or sister-in-law) initiates a conversation on the topic or the son/daughter approaches the parent/relative and expresses the desire to be married.<ref name="ref15zucaj">{{Citation \| title=Everyday Life in South Asia \| author=Diane P. Mines, Sarah E. Lamb \| year=2010 \| publisher=Indiana University Press, 2010 \| isbn=978-0-253-22194-0 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=828fOvb61wIC \| quote=''... distinction between arranged and love marriages is in fact becoming increasingly blurred, especially among the urban middle classes ... Parents or other kin may introduce the two, who then might spend some time getting to know each other ...''}}</ref> This relative effectively acts as a sponsor, taking responsibility to get the boy/girl married to a good partner.<ref name="ref97yabeq">{{Citation \| title=Sociology and social research, Volume 73 \| author=Southern California Sociological Society, University of Southern California \| year=1988 \| publisher=University of Southern California., 1988 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=GD61AAAAIAAJ \| quote=''It is not uncommon to find family-sponsored marriage advertisements. A parent or sibling acts as a sponsor and introduces''}}</ref>		Arranged marriages vary widely by region and community across the Indian subcontinent. The marriage process usually begins with a realization in the family that a child is old enough to marry. For a girl, it is during her graduation or early twenties; for a boy, it is after he is 'settled', with a decent job and consistent earnings. The initiation can occur when a parent or a relative (such as an aunt or an elder sister or sister-in-law) initiates a conversation on the topic or the son/daughter approaches the parent/relative and expresses the desire to be married.<ref name="ref15zucaj">{{Citation \| title=Everyday Life in South Asia \| author=Diane P. Mines, Sarah E. Lamb \| year=2010 \| publisher=Indiana University Press, 2010 \| isbn=978-0-253-22194-0 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=828fOvb61wIC \| quote=''... distinction between arranged and love marriages is in fact becoming increasingly blurred, especially among the urban middle classes ... Parents or other kin may introduce the two, who then might spend some time getting to know each other ...''}}</ref> This relative effectively acts as a sponsor, taking responsibility to get the boy/girl married to a good partner.<ref name="ref97yabeq">{{Citation \| title=Sociology and social research, Volume 73 \| author=Southern California Sociological Society, University of Southern California \| year=1988 \| publisher=University of Southern California., 1988 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=GD61AAAAIAAJ \| quote=''It is not uncommon to find family-sponsored marriage advertisements. A parent or sibling acts as a sponsor and introduces''}}</ref>

	===Finding a matchmaker===		===Finding a matchmaker===
Line 47:		Line 47:
	*[[Horoscope]] Matching: Although not absolutely necessary, many communities of North and South India have a practice of matching Horoscopes of Boy and Girl before the alliance. Match making based on Horoscopes involves [[Astrology]] based predictions and evaluates compatibilities of the two individuals. In north India it is called [[Janam Kundali\|Kundali]] while in South it is known as [[Nakshatram]].<ref>{{cite news\| url= https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/astrology/relationships-marriage/what-are-36-gunas-in-hindu-marriage/articleshow/68205861.cms}}</ref>		*[[Horoscope]] Matching: Although not absolutely necessary, many communities of North and South India have a practice of matching Horoscopes of Boy and Girl before the alliance. Match making based on Horoscopes involves [[Astrology]] based predictions and evaluates compatibilities of the two individuals. In north India it is called [[Janam Kundali\|Kundali]] while in South it is known as [[Nakshatram]].<ref>{{cite news\| url= https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/astrology/relationships-marriage/what-are-36-gunas-in-hindu-marriage/articleshow/68205861.cms}}</ref>
	* Age: Most often, a boy older than the girl is sought, ideally with no more than a 5-year difference in age.{{citation needed\|date=April 2021}}		* Age: Most often, a boy older than the girl is sought, ideally with no more than a 5-year difference in age.{{citation needed\|date=April 2021}}
	*[[Physical appearance]]s of the individual is taken into account in some cases, more so for girls.<ref>{{cite news\| url=http://www.thehindu.com/classifieds/matrimonial/?list1=bridegrooms \| location=Chennai, India \|title=Matrimonial News - The Hindu\| work=The Hindu}}</ref> Also, the height of the boy is sought to be more than the one of the girl. Many Indian families are obsessed with fairness of the girl. Matrimonial advertisement often advertise skin pigmentation of the girl such as Fair, Wheatish etc. Fair tones are considered to be advantageous.<ref>{{Cite news\|date=2015-03-20\|title=India's unfair obsession with fair skin, its impact on relationships\|url=https://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/india-s-unfair-obsession-with-fair-skin-its-impact-on-relationships/story-cbkOW7ZShgbR10i5yfvIXI.html\|access-date=2020-06-28\|website=Hindustan Times\|language=en}}</ref>		*[[Physical appearance]]s of the individual is taken into account in some cases, more so for girls.<ref>{{cite news\| url=http://www.thehindu.com/classifieds/matrimonial/?list1=bridegrooms \| location=Chennai, India \|title=Matrimonial News – The Hindu\| work=The Hindu}}</ref> Also, the height of the boy is sought to be more than the one of the girl. Many Indian families are obsessed with fairness of the girl. Matrimonial advertisement often advertise skin pigmentation of the girl such as Fair, Wheatish etc. Fair tones are considered to be advantageous.<ref>{{Cite news\|date=2015-03-20\|title=India's unfair obsession with fair skin, its impact on relationships\|url=https://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-relationships/india-s-unfair-obsession-with-fair-skin-its-impact-on-relationships/story-cbkOW7ZShgbR10i5yfvIXI.html\|access-date=2020-06-28\|website=Hindustan Times\|language=en}}</ref>

	Matrimonial websites<ref>An alternative to the traditional marriage broker - [http://www.matrimonialsindia.com/ Matrimonial Service Provider] {{webarchive \|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20161027231014/http://www.matrimonialsindia.com/ \|date=27 October 2016 }}</ref> frequently use some of these factors to enable prospective matches.<ref>Spying a lucrative business https://www.thestar.com.my/data/archives/2013/06/21/09/20/spying-a-lucrative-business/</ref><ref>Getting married the snappy, global way {{cite web \|url=http://www.expressindia.com/news/fullstory.php?newsid%3D56735 \|title=Archived copy \|access-date=2009-04-20 \|url-status=dead \|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20121010150706/http://www.expressindia.com/news/fullstory.php?newsid=56735 \|archive-date=10 October 2012 }}</ref><ref>Examples of Religious Matrimony Service - [https://www.chavaramatrimony.com/ Christian Matrimony Service Provider]</ref>		Matrimonial websites<ref>An alternative to the traditional marriage broker – [http://www.matrimonialsindia.com/ Matrimonial Service Provider] {{webarchive \|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20161027231014/http://www.matrimonialsindia.com/ \|date=27 October 2016 }}</ref> frequently use some of these factors to enable prospective matches.<ref>Spying a lucrative business https://www.thestar.com.my/data/archives/2013/06/21/09/20/spying-a-lucrative-business/</ref><ref>Getting married the snappy, global way {{cite web \|url=http://www.expressindia.com/news/fullstory.php?newsid%3D56735 \|title=Archived copy \|access-date=2009-04-20 \|url-status=dead \|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20121010150706/http://www.expressindia.com/news/fullstory.php?newsid=56735 \|archive-date=10 October 2012 }}</ref><ref>Examples of Religious Matrimony Service – [https://www.chavaramatrimony.com/ Christian Matrimony Service Provider]</ref>

	===Exchange of photographs/information with prospective matches===		===Exchange of photographs/information with prospective matches===
Line 64:		Line 64:
	Once there is mutual agreement between the prospective bride and groom that they would like to marry, and no red flags have emerged about either party in the inquiries conducted formally or informally, the other prospective spouses are declined and their photographs and other documents returned. Families usually attempt to maintain a high level of cordiality in these interactions, often invoking the idea of ''sanjog'' (predestined relationship, roughly equivalent to the idea that "''marriages are made in heaven''") to defuse any sense of rancor or rejection.<ref name="ref44piyug">{{Citation \| title=Rites of passage \| author=Jean Holm \| date=January 1994 \| publisher=Continuum International Publishing Group, 1994 \| isbn=978-1-85567-102-7 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=QRRfXbORzm8C \| quote=''... The concept of sanjog (preordained relationship) plays an important role in the establishment of a marriage alliance ...''}}</ref>		Once there is mutual agreement between the prospective bride and groom that they would like to marry, and no red flags have emerged about either party in the inquiries conducted formally or informally, the other prospective spouses are declined and their photographs and other documents returned. Families usually attempt to maintain a high level of cordiality in these interactions, often invoking the idea of ''sanjog'' (predestined relationship, roughly equivalent to the idea that "''marriages are made in heaven''") to defuse any sense of rancor or rejection.<ref name="ref44piyug">{{Citation \| title=Rites of passage \| author=Jean Holm \| date=January 1994 \| publisher=Continuum International Publishing Group, 1994 \| isbn=978-1-85567-102-7 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=QRRfXbORzm8C \| quote=''... The concept of sanjog (preordained relationship) plays an important role in the establishment of a marriage alliance ...''}}</ref>

	An engagement ceremony or a pre-engagement ceremony (such as ''roka'') follows. In urban areas, the future spouses are often expected to go out on dates and develop a romantic relationship in the period between their engagement and their wedding.<ref name="ref36ruhad">{{Citation \| title=India today, Volume 19, Issues ~~13-18~~ \| year= 1994\| publisher=Thomson Living Media India Ltd., 1994 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=oXBDAAAAYAAJ \| quote=''... doubts about her post-engagement late-night dinners. "But my mother told them it's all right." Adds Delhi's Komal Arora: "My parents would be really upset if I did not go out with my fiance for two days at a stretch ...''}}</ref> In more conservative rural areas, a period of greater freedom in interaction, or even romantic courtship, between the man and woman follows. Though dating may not be socially permissible, nonetheless the couple may talk over the phone.<ref name="ref76zigav">{{Citation \| title=Indian anthropologist: journal of the Indian Anthropological Association, Volume 4 \| author=Indian Anthropological Association \| year=1974 \| publisher=The Association, 1974 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=lJgrAAAAIAAJ \| quote=''... there was general consensus that after "sagai" (engagement) the boy and girl may be allowed to have pre-marital courtship. The situation is in no way comparable to the western notion of "engaged couple" ...''}}</ref>		An engagement ceremony or a pre-engagement ceremony (such as ''roka'') follows. In urban areas, the future spouses are often expected to go out on dates and develop a romantic relationship in the period between their engagement and their wedding.<ref name="ref36ruhad">{{Citation \| title=India today, Volume 19, Issues 13–18 \| year= 1994\| publisher=Thomson Living Media India Ltd., 1994 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=oXBDAAAAYAAJ \| quote=''... doubts about her post-engagement late-night dinners. "But my mother told them it's all right." Adds Delhi's Komal Arora: "My parents would be really upset if I did not go out with my fiance for two days at a stretch ...''}}</ref> In more conservative rural areas, a period of greater freedom in interaction, or even romantic courtship, between the man and woman follows. Though dating may not be socially permissible, nonetheless the couple may talk over the phone.<ref name="ref76zigav">{{Citation \| title=Indian anthropologist: journal of the Indian Anthropological Association, Volume 4 \| author=Indian Anthropological Association \| year=1974 \| publisher=The Association, 1974 \| url=https://books.google.com/books?id=lJgrAAAAIAAJ \| quote=''... there was general consensus that after "sagai" (engagement) the boy and girl may be allowed to have pre-marital courtship. The situation is in no way comparable to the western notion of "engaged couple" ...''}}</ref>

	==Low incidence of divorce in India==		==Low incidence of divorce in India==